Our beloved go softly into the night

If you keep your heart open, you can experience a great joy that would otherwise be missed. If you keep your heart open you can fall in love with all that the world has to offer. If you keep your heart open, you can fall in love and then be shattered when the object of your love is no longer there. If you keep your heart open, you can heal and love a thousand more times.

We fell in love with a little kitten that showed up on our doorstep over 2 months ago. I started feeding him right away and 3 days later his teenaged mother showed up. We noticed that although the mother had very long hair, the little black fellow had mostly long hair but some really wild long hair that stuck out above. We named him Porky…short for porcupine. His mama we named Joleen. She just looks like a slightly wild, teenaged girl that escaped from life in the trailers.

After about 7 weeks, Mama Joleen showed up with 5 more little tiny kittens. We figured that she had Porky and right away had another litter. Oh well..more cute little kittens to watch and feed.

During this time I consulted with a friend that worked for Forgotten Felines, an organization that helps to trap the cats and arranges for low cost vet visits which included spaying or neutering and basic distemper, vaccinations, etc. for feral cats.

Porky has gotten bolder, as has his little brothers and sisters. After really watching them for a time we realized that Porky DID have a litter mate, that there was a much larger kitten but along the same size as Porky. Her name is Jo Jo. She has a little sister named Billie Jo and then there are Tiger (self-explanatory), Thunder (a little rolly polly kitten with chocolate brown fur) and then Porky Jr. or PJ.

The kittens come when we call them, but don’t get too close. Just in the last few days I have been able to get close enough to touch Porky’s tail, then stroke his side a couple of times. He just about jumped out of his skin but didn’t run.

Tonight was the night of the trapping. Right off the bat we trapped 2 of the little kittens, but one got away as we transferred them to a smaller cage. Then right away we caught 2 more for a total of 3.

Then I heard a woman’s voice calling to me. I live out in the middle of nowhere, but on a hellishly busy road and a woman was calling to me…asking if I had a black cat. The cat had run out if front of her car and she had hit it. It was Porky. He was not moving when I picked him up and never moved again.

I ran with him into the house and laid him down on the table so I could examine him. He was dead. He was also soft as a bunny. So soft and so sweet. This was the first time I ever got to hold him and pet him. I told him that I loved him, that I always wanted a better and safer life for him and was so sorry that he wasn’t going to have it. Maybe we can with one of his siblings.

Porky gave me such joy…his little meows in the morning, playing footsie under the door, sitting on the window ledge looking in and being a big brother to his little brothers and sisters.

My heart has broken into a thousand pieces with your passing, Porky. I’ll never forget you and promise to take care of all of the kitties that pass our way.